About This Weekend

What you missed this weekend while wondering if that last glass of water tasted funny…

• U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S – Wait, what? Oh. Well, either way, at least people will begin to take female athletes a little more seriously now, right LoMo?

• Javy Vazquez had another solid outing on Saturday, in a 13-3 route of the Cubs. We’re now at 37 days since Vazquez has given up more than 3 runs in a game. C’mon, Javy, help a brother out. Jokes are way easier to write when you stink.

• Also on Saturday afternoon, Mike Stanton went 3-for-5, smacked two homers, drove in four runs and delivered a baby during the 7th inning stretch. I, on the other hand, spent Saturday afternoon successfully navigating my way through Babies”R”Us. I’m still not sure which one of us accomplished a more impressive feat.

• Also, also on Saturday afternoon, Edward Mujica took a second inning siesta, prompting Len Kasper and Bob Brenly to call into question Mujica’s work ethic:

“Boy, that’s embarrassing. I don’t even know who that is. That’s embarrassing.”

Not at all embarrassing? Openly admitting you have no idea who an opposing player is. We should all strive to work as hard as those two.

• You sitting down for this one? Chris Volstad didn’t allow a single homer on Sunday! He did give up back-to-back-to-back doubles to start the game and lasted just three innings, but NO HOMERS! Baby steps, people. Baby steps.