Of Walk-Offs, Pies and CommunismBy
When Mike Stanton hit his walk-off blast last night and the crowd
roared kinda screamed a little made sort of a low humming sound that could only be heard if you were listening really, really closely, there was only one thing I was waiting for… PIE.
See, with all of its unwritten rules, baseball is something of a stuck-up sport. Don’t run across the pitchers mound. Don’t pimp out your home run trot. Don’t grab a baby from the first row and violently shake it after turning a triple-play. It really is ridiculous, the secret limitations this sport places on its players. Which is why I take so much joy in the few moments when baseball players are allowed to celebrate like overgrown children.
Admit it, it’s never not fun watching an entire team bounce up and down around home plate, knowing that the player rounding the bases is about to be punched and grabbed and pinched as a sign of appreciation. That should happen at every workplace. And pie? Who doesn’t love the celebratory pie in the face during an interview after a game-winning hit? Communists, that’s who!
If it were up to me, we’d be slamming more edible objects into the faces of our over-achieving athletes. How about a big plate of Nutella? A bowl of penne alla vodka? Maybe slap him across the face with a nice, juicy T-bone? I’m all for innovation, especially when it’s of the culinary variety.
So, no, I don’t care all that much that Chris Coghlan‘s season was ended by a plate of Cool Whip. I just want to see my baseball players behave like goofy guys who wear pajamas and play a kid’s game for a living. And if you don’t agree, you probably haven’t seen this photo yet.
Or you’re a Communist.
(H/T to @DannyMartinez4 for the Stanton pie-face photo)
(Update: SHAVING CREAM?!? THAT’S NOT COOL WHIP? FOR SHAME, BASEBALL PLAYERS. FOR SHAME.)